Tackling Hair Washing Without Tears: Sensory-Friendly Tips That Worked for Us
Hair care in the early years wasn’t just tricky — it was honestly torture.
There’s no better word for it.
For Emily, and for us, every wash and brush became a battle. It left all of us feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
If your child struggles with hair brushing, hair washing, or general hair care, please know: you are not alone.
It’s not bad parenting.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not neglect.
It’s simply hard — really, really hard — for so many of us.
Over time (and lots of trial and error), we discovered techniques that made hair care not just manageable, but sometimes even fun.
Here’s a look at what helped our family — and what might help yours too.
Washing Hair Without Tears: Gentle Tricks That Helped Us
Hair washing was one of our biggest challenges — and for a long time, it felt like the stuff of nightmares.
But over time, we found little strategies that helped.
Here’s what helped us make hair washing a little easier (and a lot less scary
Swap the shower head for a face cloth:
Instead of pouring water directly, we soaked a soft cloth and gently squeezed it over her hair. This helped keep water off her face and ears — two major sensory triggers.
Start from the back:
We always rinsed the longer hair at the back first, then worked up the sides, and saved the tricky front for last.
(Whenever possible, we encouraged Emily to tilt her head to help water flow away from her face.)
Make it a game:
We turned rinsing into a countdown — “Three... two... one!” — to make it more playful and predictable.
Offer towel breaks:
Every few rinses, we handed her a towel to wipe her eyes. These little sensory breaks gave her control and helped avoid overload.
Use backward chaining:
Instead of expecting a full rinse from the start, we celebrated small steps first — a little rinse here, a little more next time — until full rinses were no big deal.
Take it in stages:
Some days, washing happened in two parts with playtime breaks in between.
Making bath time fun turned things around — so much so that at one stage, Emily wanted five baths a day!
Extra Tools That Saved Our Sanity During Hair Care Struggles
Along the way, we found a few extra tricks and tools that made hair care so much easier — for Emily and for us.
Here’s what helped:
Visual supports:
A simple visual schedule made a big difference.
We showed Emily what to expect: a jug of water ➔ a break ➔ another jug ➔ another break ➔ all done!
Knowing what was coming helped reduce her anxiety about washing.
Small but mighty rewards:
We used special treats (like Pop Tarts after supper!) to motivate her through tricky moments.
A little incentive at the end made the whole process more predictable and positive.
Conditioner is your best friend:
Conditioner made brushing afterwards so much easier.
If rinsing is too much for your child, try using a leave-in conditioner or a detangling spray instead — less rinsing, less fuss.
Headbands to block water:
Some families have great success using soft headbands that shield the eyes from water.
They didn’t work for Emily (she couldn't tolerate anything on her head at the time), but they might be a lifesaver for others.
Looking Ahead: Making Hair Care (and Beyond) Easier
Hair washing was just the beginning for us — next up was tackling hair brushing and styling (without tears!).
In our next blog, we’ll share gentle strategies for hair brushing, followed by our top picks for tools that made washing, brushing, and styling easier.
Tiny steps really do lead to big breakthroughs — and we’re excited to share what helped in our home
If you’re just starting your journey and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone.
Visit resources to find out supports available
Still working through tooth brushing struggles too?
You’re in good company — check out our Tooth Brushing Support Guide for techniques that have helped many families.
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